Hallelujah ...

Yay oh yay .... it's the weekend.

I know I sometimes feel guilty that I protect and guard my weekends like I do.
I fight with the internal dialogue of critical parent and petulant teenager who have opposing views on what, how and when I 'should' be living my life.

As I sit here gleefully almost rubbing my hands in delight at the thought of two whole days of rewarding my self ( for having survived another week!!)  giving self permission to do what I want or need to do is bliss, sheer bliss.

The guilt (thanks oh critical parent) comes from "Oh but that is selfish and you shouldn't admit to that" and of course on the opposite side (thanks oh petulant teenager) comes "So what, I want to do what I want to do"

Neither of course is going to get any more satisfaction from me by allowing them to drown out my 'Adult' self who simply states (I hope they are listening) I have worked my butt off all week, fulfilling every one else's needs or requirements, meeting my obligations diligently and without complaint.

So the fact that my reward is simply alone time and space is not selfish. Instead it is critically important to my well being, on and at every level.

The very fact that probably half my posts on this Blog are related to weekends and celebrating them is actually both a little scary and enlightening!!

Of course if No.1 Daughter calls and needs help ...I'm there without a shadow of a doubt. And I have been 'booked' to babysit No.1 Sons 'Big Black Beast' tonight whilst he's out and about gallivanting & celebrating his weekend. Okay so the housework also gets completed, hmmm what else ??

My point ?

Beginning to sound like I'm justifying self and that is not necessary, no I need not do it, so I will choose to say I am simply reminding my self  of the value I gain by giving my self permission to do something that is for me and me alone!

And that feels damn good thank you very much!!